To me, what separates a funny movie from a good movie is something personal.

I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job.

As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny.

Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.