I believe in the sanctity of marriage.

My own early crusade for same-sex marriage, for example, is now mainstream gay politics. It wasn't when I started.

When I first started talking about gay marriage, most people in the gay community looked at me as if I was insane or possibly a fascist reactionary.

So I really did stop and change what I saw I was about, and really try to put that principle into play as the center of everything - my friendships, my marriage, my career, my family, my way of being in the world. And that changed everything for me.

People ask what the secret of a happy marriage is. If there is one, it's 'don't talk about it.'