Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress when I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other.

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Doctors are just the same as lawyers the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity.

Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals.