I was always shocked when I went to the doctor's office and they did my X-ray and didn't find that I had eight more ribs than I should have or that my blood was the color green.

In the name of Hypocrites, doctors have invented the most exquisite form of torture ever known to man: survival.

The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.

I'm 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down - at least he did until he dropped dead.

Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back in the shell.