Sports
  • One thing you learned as a Cubs fan: when you bought you ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth.

  • Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.

  • I started playing ball when I was a kid. My dad was a pro ball player and he passed on his knowledge to me.

  • Every great batter works on the theory that the pitcher is more afraid of him than he is of the pitcher.

  • What's a good tournament for him? Winning it. He's good enough.