Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

I've always been the type to fall in love fast and, with every boyfriend, I plan out my wedding in my head.

We were pretty good mates until the Beatles started to split up and Yoko came into it. It was more like old army buddies splitting up on account of wedding bells.

One tradition I have with my friends is that when one of us gets married, we have a ton of fragrance oils and pretty bottles at the bachelorette party. Everyone puts a drop or two in a bottle for the bride and makes a wish, and the bride wears our creation on her wedding day.

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.