It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it.

It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals.

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.

I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.

It's funny what a few no-hitters do for a body.