Alan Alda
  • I used to be a Catholic. I left because I object to conversion by concussion. If you don't agree with what they teach, you get clobbered over the head until you do. All that does is change the shape of the head.

  • It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich.

  • I'm most at home on the stage. I was carried onstage for the first time when I was six months old.

  • Be as smart as you can, but remember that it is always better to be wise than to be smart.

  • I find myself going to places where I really have no business, speaking to these people in a whole other field that I have no extensive knowledge of. But I do it very often because it scares me.