Joey Adams
  • If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.

  • If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

  • Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

  • A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

  • Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.