From paying off friends' tax bills to rescuing stray dogs and stuffing &pound20 notes into the hands of homeless people, I can't get rid of my money fast enough.

As a child, I wanted only two things - to be left alone to read my library books, and to get away from my provincial hometown and go to London to be a writer. And I always knew that when I got there, I wanted to make loads of money.

We are used to female writers who use their private lives as unmitigated material being somewhat hormonal this somehow 'excuses' what might be seen as a highly unfeminine ability to turn their personal upsets into money.

The money I pay for my cultural experiences came willingly from my own pocket - they were not the result of bread being removed from the mouths of the poor so that Miss Thing here could mince off to the circus smelling of roses.

Being a monarchist - saying that one small group is born more worthy of respect than another - is just as warped and strange as being a racist.