Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

Did you ever stop to think why cops are always famous for being dumb? Simple. Because they don't have to be anything else.

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.