I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.

A happy arrangement: many people prefer cats to other people, and many cats prefer people to other cats.

Even cats grow lonely and anxious.

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through.