Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

In the United States Christmas has become the rape of an idea.

I was nine or 10 years old and my father was sacked on Christmas Day. He was a manager, the results had not been good, he lost a game on December 22 or 23. On Christmas Day, the telephone rang and he was sacked in the middle of our lunch.

There's a little vanity chair that Charlie gave me the first Christmas we knew each other. I'll not be parting with that, nor our bed - the four-poster - I'll be needing that to die in.

I wanted an electric train for Christmas but I got the saxophone instead.