The triple is the most exciting play in baseball. Home runs win a lot of games, but I never understood why fans are so obsessed with them.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I don't believe in organized religion - I dealt with them hand in hand, and a whole bunch of Catholic priests tried to molest me. Telling me I was gay and I should go home with them and stuff.

Philosophy is properly home-sickness the wish to be everywhere at home.

Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits.