Adam Carolla
  • The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'

  • Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

  • If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

  • It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.

  • I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.