Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.