Andy Rooney
  • The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

  • Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

  • Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.

  • Death is a distant rumor to the young.

  • I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.