Why should anybody be interested in some old man who was a failure?

Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth.

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

I don't like to write like God. It is only because you never do it, though, that the critics think you can't do it.

About morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.