Groucho Marx
  • A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

  • One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

  • Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

  • Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

  • Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.