Josh Billings
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I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.
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The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
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The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
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One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
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The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.