Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.

Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce.