I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.