People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.