Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.