There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

Hollywood's just not funny.

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.