Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.