Henny Youngman
-
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
-
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
-
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
-
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
-
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad but New York City?