Henny Youngman
  • If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

  • If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

  • This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!

  • I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

  • What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.