There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.