Rita Rudner
  • A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.

  • Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

  • Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

  • Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

  • Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.