My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.