Rodney Dangerfield
  • When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

  • Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.

  • This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.

  • My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

  • I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.