Sports
  • Most ball games are lost, not won.

  • Boxing has become America's tragic theater.

  • Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

  • The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.

  • Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.