Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.