I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.