I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.