W. C. Fields
  • When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

  • Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

  • Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

  • Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

  • All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.